You’re a liar, Canada. You’re a player, a user, a flirt?
You’re the cruelest girl that he has ever met.

I never thought I would be called any of those names in my WHOLE entire life. I’ve never been called that in real life or here. According to Gavin, I am a “flirt”. What the heck is a flirt? Someone who goes around being flirty and hitting on people? Being a player? Even flirts have hearts too… right? Whatever. I’m not down with thinking that I am any of those things. But I did break hearts. I think I broke all three hearts, especially one. And I’m sorry for doing that just for my own selfishness of gaining myself again. Why must every time I turn around, love hits me back like it’s slapping me in the face, telling me to focus just on LOVE? It breaks my heart to know I broke their hearts. WHAT IS SO GREAT ABOUT LOVE? You know you are happy one moment, but you have to be ready and stand your ground the next moment because there are going to be fights, crying, yelling and screaming. And what are you going to do now? Nothing. Just sit there and think about all your wrong mistakes and the fucked up things you did to deserve such a cold-blooded night.

I don’t get how I can be such an expert on love, giving everyone some love advice as if I took that from my own experience. I guess you can call me Dr. Love, the cruelest girl in the romance department. The cruelest girl, according to Gavin Matthews. I hear no evil, see no evil, but yet I do evil things? I don’t mean to. Being single is in my nature. I feel like I need to regain myself and try to make myself happy again without another person’s help. Of course you make me happy, Gavin. You make me happier than Jake and Talan combined AND I DON’T CARE WHO KNOWS IT! You fought for me hard, you fought back, you pinned me to the ground and told me that I was so stupid for not letting love into my life. For being afraid to love. What do YOU know about love? You just broke up with your girlfriend and when you started talking to me again, you felt crazier than you have ever felt about anybody else. I know it’s a miracle for me to be falling in love with someone in less than a week because I don’t fall for guys that easily. It took me two months to realize I was in love with Jake. I was never in love with Talan, but I loved him. And I cared. And I didn’t know if I was doing anything wrong in our relationship, not that there were certain rules to maintain the relationship, but there sure are certain boundaries. Like texting and calling him every once in awhile, trying to keep things not boring because I’m not into the whole “HEY, WHATSUP?” - “NOTHING MUCH, YOU?” thing. I don’t get these guys. I don’t get what’s wrong with you.

Now I know why people say “It’s not you, it’s me” when they want to break up. They might have used it as an excuse, but I sure didn’t. I just can’t really freaking find the courage to slap myself for knowing that after everything I’ve been running after, in the end… I don’t want it anymore. And I had to hurt a person without knowing it, to be able to reach the point of my life. The point is…

I don’t need love. I’m perfectly fine without it.